• HeartyBeast
    link
    fedilink
    139
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    That sound you just heard, was the rustle as hundreds of financial regulators around the world leant forward just a little.

  • hiddengoat
    link
    fedilink
    1001 year ago

    It’s all about PayPal, isn’t it?

    Holy fucking shit.

    PayPal is Musk’s Obama burn.

    PayPal shitcanned him because he’s a fucking idiot so he takes that money, gets SpaceX going and memes Tesla to success by sheer accident. At the point everyone’s thinking he’s “Rill Loaf Toony Sturk” he’s STILL fucking boiling that PayPal canned him because he’s actually terrible at everything. He then proceeds to start sniffing his own farts, building rescue submarines that would never work, calling people “pedo guys”, impregnating every woman that will take the payoff to have his moron seed implanted in them, moving to Texas and wearing a fucking cowboy hat to show how much of a REEL MAYUN he is (despite the fact that fucking nobody wears a cowboy hat in this state outside of actual cowboys and people that want to announce that they’re fucking idiots to everyone).

    He renames Twitter to X so trigger his nostalgia balls and then a few months later announces he’s going to replace banks with X. Which would also, theoretically, replace PayPal.

    He really is nothing more than a little bitch that happens to have money.

    • interolivary
      link
      fedilink
      321 year ago

      Ha, I didn’t even think of the PayPal connection, but now that you mention it, he’s exactly the sort of petty manchild that that sounds plausible. He might figure that it’d be a nice double whammy: he can finally get even with those fucks at PayPal who didn’t see how brilliant he is, and it’d help keep Twitter afloat so he can feel like he’s not a complete failure.

      impregnating every woman

      Inseminating; the majority of Musk’s spawn was conceived with IVF. Musk does not fuck

      • Veloxization
        link
        fedilink
        161 year ago

        Musk does not fuck

        There’s a sentence I did not expect to read today, but kinda did expect to read someday.

      • ripcord
        link
        fedilink
        51 year ago

        You didn’t think of the PayPal connection? You didn’t read the article at all either I guess?

        • interolivary
          link
          fedilink
          81 year ago

          I absolutely did not read it, the headline tells me enough and I can think of several more pleasurable activities than reading an article about Musk, such as shoving red hot needles under my fingernails

          • ripcord
            link
            fedilink
            51 year ago

            “I didn’t bother reading the thing or learning the basics, but I’m going to comment anyway and pretend I didn’t want to do it”

            • interolivary
              link
              fedilink
              4
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              At least I’m not a judgemental twat to random people on the internet , so I guess I have that going for me. Just because I didn’t think to connect Musk’s PayPal history with this move doesn’t mean I don’t know about it, you know?

              Why is it always the kbin users, I swear

              • ripcord
                link
                fedilink
                21 year ago

                I really don’t think it’s much to ask people to read the damn article before they start blathering their opinions on it. And not doubling down on being intentionally ignorant.

  • Admiral Patrick
    link
    fedilink
    English
    711 year ago

    Really? Lol, no.

    I like my money in a bank. Somewhere that has those “pesky” regulations that keep me from getting (too) screwed over.

  • Plume (she/her)
    link
    fedilink
    561 year ago

    If this ever comes out and you actually put your money in it, you deserve whatever fuckery happens to it. I’m sorry, but I’m completely out of empathy for Musk’s fans.

    • @PM_ME_FAT_ENBIES@lib.lgbt
      link
      fedilink
      English
      141 year ago

      In my country, your birth certificate has both your deadname and your new name on it if you changed your name. When I signed up for PayPal, I had already transitioned, so I put in my current, legal name. PayPal asked for proof that I am who I claim to be, to prevent fraud. Fair enough, I gave them my birth certificate. They looked at it, and then changed the name on my account to my deadname, which was no longer my legal name. When I told them to change it back, they said I’d have to submit a change of name form.

      I knew Musk was transphobic sooner than most of the public did after that experience.

      • @flora_explora@beehaw.org
        link
        fedilink
        71 year ago

        Don’t think this is necessarily connected to Musk though. Like, I had similar experiences with most institutions and some banks still fuck up my name. Musk probably has zero say in this. But yeah, I avoided for a long time to change my name on PayPal for this exact same reason. When I did update my name this year it did work out great however. PayPal didn’t ask me for any proof and it was a smooth experience.

  • ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ 帝
    link
    fedilink
    English
    531 year ago

    Musk faces major challenges to get there, though. Convincing people why they need such a platform is one. Getting them to trust X with their entire financial life is another.

    It’s less about trusting X but trusting Musk. Trying to make an “everything app” with him in charge just feels dystopian.

    • kux
      link
      fedilink
      20
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      Trying to make an “everything app” with him in charge just feels dystopian.

      Trying to make an “everything app” at all, whoever is in charge, is dystopian. Given the conspiracy theorists’ general alarm at new world order, one world government type scenarios it’s a wonder he isn’t pilloried for this by the same mad bastards who advocate for him instead. Maybe he is and I just haven’t kept up

    • athos77
      link
      fedilink
      151 year ago

      Sure, let me give all my money to the broke billionaire with the bad investment history - what could go wrong?!

    • @agegamon@beehaw.org
      link
      fedilink
      111 year ago

      I just feel like musk wants a western version of wechat for a hybrid user base of hardcore republicans and hardcore libertarians. That seems like such a fundamental oxymoron… but here we are.

      And in fact, I hate to say it, but given how good those groups of people are at bending reality and making themselves conform to a warped capitalist standard, it might just work out for a while. But more than likely it’ll probably also go the way of “trump bucks” or whatever those psycho-loyalist cryptocoins were called. Basically it’ll end up a big old miserable fraud.

      The again if it’s Elon’s coin on the table I’m not so sure I care. He’s just ruining spacex, tesla, et. al. Let him bleed money.

      What’s genuinely sad is that the people who can’t bail from twitter quickly will be spitroasted by musk in the process.

    • TwilightVulpine
      link
      fedilink
      41 year ago

      Even before Musk I wouldn’t have trusted Twitter with my finances or even just my credit card.

  • Beej Jorgensen
    link
    fedilink
    351 year ago

    “Unless you give us all your money to put in our new bank, we might be facing insolvency issues.”

  • Sonori
    link
    fedilink
    351 year ago

    Hmm, this seems like the sort of addition where it might have been nice to have a bunch of world leading developers and designers hanging around. Seems odd to fire them all if this was the plan.

    Indeed that does seem like the sort of mistake that someone who made the largest purchase of thier life after staying up alll night playing Elden Ring would make, but i’m sure it was really a cunning 5d chess move and not evidence that our overlords who are born into wealth are just as dumb as the rest of us.

    • EponymousBosh
      link
      fedilink
      91 year ago

      Oh they’re not as dumb as the rest of us, that’s the scary thing. They’re even dumber.

    • @millie@beehaw.org
      link
      fedilink
      English
      71 year ago

      Sometimes I wonder if he’s doing it on purpose. Like, this has to be a joke, right?

      The level of absurd stupidity from someone who’d once seemingly tricked us all into thinking he was really smart is just… baffling.

    • @janguv@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      41 year ago

      Indeed that does seem like the sort of mistake that someone who made the largest purchase of thier life after staying up alll night playing Elden Ring would make

      Hey, playing Elden Ring takes some skill and dedication. Did you see the build he put on Twitter that time? It was hilariously stupid. In fairness, maybe he was playing all night with it just to get past very basic foes.

  • @Uniquitous@lemmy.one
    link
    fedilink
    English
    301 year ago

    Oh hell no. I’ve seen how he manages his money. Like fuck I’m letting him anywhere near mine.

    • ripcord
      link
      fedilink
      81 year ago

      Yes, did you read the article? He says exactly that.

  • @ulkesh@beehaw.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    191 year ago

    Well he can fuck right off. The moron strikes again with yet another in a long line of “no one asked for this bullshit” features that hopefully completely destroys his $44,000,000,000 toy.

  • @agentsquirrel@beehaw.org
    link
    fedilink
    191 year ago

    I’m going to let some impulsive rich brat who paid $36B too much for a social media company, only to tank it and transform it into his own personal political misinformation machine to handle all my finances? Riiiiight.

  • RubberStuntBaby
    link
    fedilink
    181 year ago

    Why would I ever want to bank with Twitter, especially while that mentally unstable idiot owns it?

  • conciselyverbose
    link
    fedilink
    131 year ago

    I’m torn between wanting him to go hard on this so I can watch it burn and being terrified he’ll somehow succeed and it will be hard to avoid.

    It’s already painful to stay out of Facebook’s clutches.

    • Pete Hahnloser
      link
      fedilink
      31 year ago

      It’s already painful to stay out of Facebook’s clutches.

      How so? NoScript and a pihole make it pretty darn easy.

      • conciselyverbose
        link
        fedilink
        171 year ago

        Because of the number of groups that literally only communicate via Facebook and Facebook marketplace replacing everything else like it.

        • Victor Villas
          link
          fedilink
          51 year ago

          In my case, that but WhatsApp. Can’t live without it, as much as I’d like.

          • @janguv@lemmy.dbzer0.com
            link
            fedilink
            11 year ago

            Don’t you feel that WhatsApp is sufficiently insulated from the normal practices of Facebook/Meta/the Zuckerverse though?

            Perhaps it’s my naivety, but I’ve never really seen the point of them owning WhatsApp, especially since it integrated e2e encryption and has fought the EU to keep it. From an end-user perspective, it’s just a pretty polished, widely used (and thus useful), and decently private/secure messaging application. I could see the appeal of moving to a Signal, Session, etc., except for their relatively low uptake among the general public where I am.

            • Pete Hahnloser
              link
              fedilink
              21 year ago

              I’ve just seen the actions Meta’s taken, and as such I believe nothing they say. I was on my family’s WhatsApp group chat until the buyout.

              SMS is fine for most things domestically. Signal’s there for international and edge cases. Most of my family are on Signal; there’s just not a group there, and I view this as a feature.

            • Victor Villas
              link
              fedilink
              1
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              Yeah, it’s a decent app with less overreach seeping in from Meta compared with Facebook, Instagram and Threads. Still, it makes me uncomfortable that many communities that I value greatly would be out of my reach if it were to stop using it. For now it’s not a problem, but I’m hyper-aware of the danger.

        • bermuda
          link
          fedilink
          English
          3
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          this genuinely made getting an apartment such a total nightmare. Every “group” online for finding apartments in my city is Facebook only. Sure, craigslist works but it’s filled with out-of-date realty company spam. If you want to avoid facebook the easiest way is just word of mouth but that’s difficult for people moving in from out of town. I ended up getting my current place by emailing a guy who I heard about from a friend.

      • Irina
        link
        fedilink
        English
        61 year ago

        In some places Messenger is the default communications platform, more so than SMS or WhatsApp or iMessage or whathaveyou.